[Desi Hunk]

……… when it comes to marriage ….

[Am Rani]

How do you mean? Do you mean the “rituals” which come with marriage? Or do you marrying someone who has a different religion than you have? Or do you mean something else…?

[ramz89]

….and are you questioning the following of a specific religion….?

[Yemenilicious]

Elaborate por favor…

[Hayliehayati]

whatever you mean…yes.

[Desi Hunk]

I think we follow our culture instead of religion.
Things like cast has always been considered as a problem..

(Directing towards pak people)

Hmm.. what do you think..

[ramz89]

This is purely from my point of view both as a Muslim and a Pakistani…

The cast system is without a doubt culture.. How can religion conceive such an unfair idea of hierarchical nonsense!..Along with the inequality and the rest of it..! Because this system was drilled into the heads of our ancestors , in today's society some families therefore find it hard to let go of this identity. I reckon this can only be eradicated with time, when it is realised that times have changed, people have moved on and the generation of today are all brought up on the same soil, the same level! (For those of you who dont quite get what the situation would be in a cast-clash, here's a case study: A girl & guy born & bred in Britain, one from a village back home wants to marry the other from a major city back home…Different castes! SHOCK HORROR! Mannn does it matter for pete's sake they're both frikkin Doctors on identical wages! Ok I exaggerated there but you get the gist that cast is irrelevant)

Just another thing…if you look at the way we celebrate weddings ie. the extravagent venues, the food,the clothes etc, then clearly we are most definitely NOT following our religion. Yes, ur right, I think the existence of such customs seem to be culturally accepted as occasions like this are a mirror of the developing fashions of society. Yet obviously religion itself cannot change though I believe it can develop in the way we perceive certain things.

Do people celebrate in spite of religion then? Or should they start celebrating it because of religion and therefore celebrate in the correct way according to the teachings?

(Sorry I realise this is revolving around Islam when talking about religion but ive just used it as an example )

[Desi Hunk]

It's a shame..

[Am Rani]

Rani says so much, and you react with such few words, Desi Hunk… To speak with the words of Serio: Youreally should be more specific…

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

lol Am ji! Not to worry, he's just losing his perspicacity!

[ramz89]

Am Rani:

Rani says so much, and you react with such few words, Desi Hunk… To speak with the words of Serio: Youreally should be more specific…

hey amz..I said it! me. ramz! hehe. I know I only post occasionally but phir bhi don't bhool me hehe

[ramz89]

Desi Hunk:

It's a shame..

Which bit DH….? Yes, please elaborate…

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

ramz:

Am Rani:

Rani says so much, and you react with such few words, Desi Hunk… To speak with the words of Serio: Youreally should be more specific…

hey amz..I said it! me. ramz! hehe. I know I only post occasionally but phir bhi don't bhool me hehe

awww! nobody's gonna bhool you! I'm sure it was just a mistake. lol. ur too cute!

[Am Rani]

Am Rani:

Our dearest never will be bhooled RAMZ says so much, and you react with such few words, Desi Hunk… To speak with the words of Serio: You really should be more specific…

Better this way???

[ramz89]

Much much better! teehee, though I would like to hear what rani has to say aswell, should be interesting! So rani, what say you on the matter? What does everyone else think seen as hamare DH saab is not around to comment…?

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

ramz:

So rani, what say you on the matter?

errr..are you talking about me, or Am ji?

[boo]

Hmm

I have no religion.

But I am “born into” a religion. And I have a whole lot of culture as part of my identity.

My marriage (if I ever do get married..) will be interesting. Especially what my family might want, and what I want.

[Desi Hunk]

will soon 'upload' my essay

[ramz89]

RaNi iS ThE BeS:

ramz:

So rani, what say you on the matter?

errr..are you talking about me, or Am ji?

Was indeed talking to you girly! But also to everyone else as i'd like to hear from a non-muslim/pakistani point of view…

[Mukesh]

Hmmmmm Ramzi …didnt really think wat u said revolved around Islam specifically…

When I was reading yr words, I was thinking about Hindu/Muslim/Christian/tamil weddings, my fwends experiences, my experience loving someone of a different religion…..hahahaha

all these things rolled in one…

I do understand what u mean though, love is love…why do we use religions/cultures/casts to divide one another….

but that said I will surely post my NON ISLAM/PAKISTANI opinion/view on this after seeing more responses from others…

Its sad that we cannot distinguish wat exactly our culture/religion truly is…do we truly practise the way we were meant to???

[ramz89]

Fair point scar face, though I simply said that because it was my point of view as a muslim/pakistani and not that it is the only view from that perspective. Everyone will interpret my view differently..because I don't have direct experience of a hindu/tamil/christian etc wedding I didn't want to generalise my opinion incase I was wrong in any aspect.

[Hayliehayati]

Scar face:

Its sad that we cannot distinguish wat exactly our culture/religion truly is…do we truly practise the way we were meant to???

It REALLY is.

A few months ago I thought what my family practices was Islam, and found out that most of it was culture and not Islam.

I don't really like the culture- my family's culture- the Yemeni culture. I guess there are some things I consider to be ok, but overall its stupid. I kinda like the American culture more actually, well some parts of it.

Above all, I'd rather live my life according to Islam than any culture.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

ramz:

RaNi iS ThE BeS:

ramz:

So rani, what say you on the matter?

errr..are you talking about me, or Am ji?

Was indeed talking to you girly! But also to everyone else as i'd like to hear from a non-muslim/pakistani point of view…

I'm speaking as a Muslim:

It's kind of obvious that we don't follow our religion when we are getting married. There are so many things people do that is not even in Islam, like the whole dowry thing. That's not even in Islam! In Islam, the husband is supposed to give money(in any form, could be diamonds) to the wife. And that's it. I don't know where we got this “buying the wife” thing from. It's so stupid.

But…I don't think it's wrong if we do some of the cultural stuff…as long as it does not go against the Islamic Shariah(law). Cuz some of it is really sweet/cute/funny.

Haylie(hayati):

Above all, I'd rather live my life according to Islam than any culture.

Very well said, Hayati. Same here, life would be so much easier.

[Yemenilicious]

RaNi iS ThE BeS:

ramz:

RaNi iS ThE BeS:

ramz:

So rani, what say you on the matter?

errr..are you talking about me, or Am ji?

Was indeed talking to you girly! But also to everyone else as i'd like to hear from a non-muslim/pakistani point of view…

I'm speaking as a Muslim:

It's kind of obvious that we don't follow our religion when we are getting married. There are so many things people do that is not even in Islam, like the whole dowry thing. That's not even in Islam! In Islam, the husband is supposed to give money(in any form, could be diamonds) to the wife. And that's it. I don't know where we got this “buying the wife” thing from. It's so stupid.

But…I don't think it's wrong if we do some of the cultural stuff…as long as it does not go against the Islamic Shariah(law). Cuz some of it is really sweet/cute/funny.

Haylie(hayati):

Above all, I'd rather live my life according to Islam than any culture.

Very well said, Hayati. Same here, life would be so much easier.

Interesting… According to Yemeni weddings…yes culture does take a bigger role in the actual parties and the three day parties and all that crap. Comparing the weddings now and at the time of the prophet…psht. Like Rani said, people nowadays give so much attention to the dowry and practically sell their daughters. I was reading something about marriage and it said how Muhammad peace be upon him paid 500 dirhams for all of his wives and so did his daughters' husbands. I don't know how much that is exactly in dollars but it certainly is not much. What they really cared about is the fact that two people are going to live together for the rest of their lives and that they shud start this life the right way. Culture has it's good and bad sides. As Haylie said, I'd rather live a life which has no bad side to it; Islam that is.

[Desi Hunk]

A lot of things could've been easier if we solely concentrated on our religion instead of all the cultural aspects.

Most of the things that our cultural holds are deeply against our religion, but yet we follow our cutural.

[boo]

Why should we follow either religion OR culture when it comes to weddings?

Why not do things OUR way, whatever works for us and our partner?

[Hayliehayati]

boo:

Why should we follow either religion OR culture when it comes to weddings?

Why not do things OUR way, whatever works for us and our partner?

you could do that…

YOUR WAY….

but when I read about an Islamic marriage- its the perfect way. Or to me at least.

[Desi Hunk]

Boo.. the way you are referring to is exactly the one Islam suggests!

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

boo:

Why should we follow either religion OR culture when it comes to weddings?

Why not do things OUR way, whatever works for us and our partner?

I don't know about other people, but I want to follow my religion when it comes to my wedding, and Inshallah, that's how it will be.

[Desi Hunk]

Inshallah Rani i.t.b!

[kavita_0026]

Hey guys

I'll have to follow religious practices when ever Im gonna get marrid ( yeah whenever that will be )

because i dont know…thats just how ti has to be …. i guess…n plus the elders in my family would

make sure that it occurs bc marriage starts and goes along with something that is sacred and respected

boo..yeah we cud do things OUR way but i guess for most pple – u do the religious steps and also if u want to add or d anything

ur way sure go ahead and do it its ur wedding

[ramz89]

boo:

Why not do things OUR way, whatever works for us and our partner?

I third what rani & DH said..! For a person who has true faith in any religion, that IS the way it will work best for them

[Unique_Princess]

ramz:

boo:

Why not do things OUR way, whatever works for us and our partner?

I third what rani & DH said..! For a person who has true faith in any religion, that IS the way it will work best for them

yup! I fourth that lol. Its true, for a person who does have true faith in their religion, it definetly will work best for them the way their religion tells them to marry

[Khushi]

On that note however….

Love in humanity, to love a human being for who they are or Love in religion, love only the ones suitable for you within a religion? Also, who says everyone marries the one they love… things don't always turn out like that. What would you rather do, love someone regardless of or their religion or get married to someone you havent loved but have to keep the marriage relationship in perspective and love them?

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Khushi, I'm sorry, but I don't understand your question.

[boo]

You know my answer only too well, Khushi… lol.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I still don't get it.

anyone wanna help this damsel in distress?

[boo]

~Khushi~:

On that note however….

Love in humanity, to love a human being for who they are or Love in religion, love only the ones suitable for you within a religion? Also, who says everyone marries the one they love… things don't always turn out like that. What would you rather do, love someone regardless of or their religion or get married to someone you havent loved but have to keep the marriage relationship in perspective and love them?

Rani hun….

Love can come about when you love a human being for who they are (Love in humanity)

Or Love can come about when you meet someone suitable for you, in terms of being within the same religion as you (Love in religion)? Which one would you choose?

Not everyone gets to marry the one they love, Life is such that things won't turn out like that…

So what would you rather do:

1. Would you love someone regardless of their religion?

or 2. Would you marry someone that you haven't loved, and in order to make the marriage work (keep the marriage relationship in perspective), go ahead and love them?

I wouldn't care about religion. Religious, not religious… makes no difference to me. But I do want someone I can speak my mind to… and not have to worry about pis.sing them off with my *ahem* somewhat stubborn and strong (apparently) views on religion… I want someone whom I can diss no end, and who can diss me back no end… but will love me for who I am at the end of the day, and vice-versa…

Religion should not be an issue for both parties concerned, be they religious or not…

At least, that's what I think… lol.

[Khushi]

Sorry Shweetoo, I didnt answer you.. because I wasnt updating myself to this thread… sorry! But yea, Boo's version should explain well.

Ahh, Boo jaan- i DO know your answer, and that too well….

[boo]

lol…………

[kavita_0026]

oh yes booji – irememember in a past thread it was talking about believing in a creator and after life or something
and i remember you saying that you are a non-believer
n i was wondering what do you think will happen to pple after they die?
then i sorta remember u sayin that … u guys think that when u die..u just die..ur body just goes in the earth and..decays n thats it
but you know what, you are a good person

and for the believers in this forum … as long as you are good the lord wont punish you right? as long as you are a good soul you'll just be reborned until you go in a life in which you believe in him

[Yemenilicious]

*smiles*

[boo]

kavita_0026:

oh yes booji – irememember in a past thread it was talking about believing in a creator and after life or something
and i remember you saying that you are a non-believer
n i was wondering what do you think will happen to pple after they die?
then i sorta remember u sayin that … u guys think that when u die..u just die..ur body just goes in the earth and..decays n thats it
but you know what, you are a good person

honey… i don't get it… are u implying that despite being an atheist, I am a good person?

[kavita_0026]

nooooo no sweetums im jus saying…from what i heard from like religious pple ..its like……. u know if u're a good person then..u're just saved..i mean… (interms of religion)
coz come on now – ther are pple who say they believe in god but they are right down plain evil – so wots to say about t hat?!! n i agree with that whole idea..coz as long as u're a good soul n have a good heart like u n every1 else whether believe in god or not – then that's just… a good thing.. i mean.i m just sayin..
coz whats the diff b/w a person who says they blieve in god n then be evil and an athiest who is evil – prob no diference……… n whats the diff bw a nonbeliever who is such a good soul! and a bliever who is such a good soul! – prob no diff either there too..

core difference i mean

love u
kavi

[Mukesh]

honey… i don't get it… are u implying that despite being an atheist, I am a good person?

Well Boo my honest opinion on yr above question:

Its not an implication my dear, its a fact:

Yes U are a damn fine woman, u have a beautiful soul an are

selfless in many ways ( those I know of ), as far as I knw u are honest and true

and to me someone with those qualities ranks as ***good people***

wat does being an atheist have to do with being a good person..??? NOTHING…

BELIEVING IN A GOD OR GODS EXISTENCE HAS NOTHING WATSOEVA TO DO WITH U YOU ARE AS

A PERSON…AND HOW U TREAT YR FELLOW PPL…( and am speaking SPECIFICALLY about Boo here okies )

eg…for me personally, GOD IS EVERYTHING …..

Soo, u dnt believe in a God, kewl its U , u are entitled to believe or not, in an individuals choice

does it make u any less of a better PERSON, HUMAN>?? in my world,NOPE it doesnt

Sooo go on being good ol u ..

am not sure wat Kavs tried to say but am just picking up from yr question to her…

[kavita_0026]

exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[boo]

Scar face:

honey… i don't get it… are u implying that despite being an atheist, I am a good person?

Well Boo my honest opinion on yr above question:

Its not an implication my dear, its a fact:

Yes U are a damn fine woman, u have a beautiful soul an are

selfless in many ways ( those I know of ), as far as I knw u are honest and true

and to me someone with those qualities ranks as ***good people***

wat does being an atheist have to do with being a good person..??? NOTHING…

BELIEVING IN A GOD OR GODS EXISTENCE HAS NOTHING WATSOEVA TO DO WITH U YOU ARE AS

A PERSON…AND HOW U TREAT YR FELLOW PPL…( and am speaking SPECIFICALLY about Boo here okies )

eg…for me personally, GOD IS EVERYTHING …..

Soo, u dnt believe in a God, kewl its U , u are entitled to believe or not, in an individuals choice

does it make u any less of a better PERSON, HUMAN>?? in my world,NOPE it doesnt

Sooo go on being good ol u ..

am not sure wat Kavs tried to say but am just picking up from yr question to her…

oh my. I don't know what to say. But ali… I don't know how you do it… I really don't. But that put a smile on my face…

compliments everywhere lol… i feel… I am not bothered either way… but heck it sure feels nice to be complimented!

Love you!!

[kavita_0026]

thnx ali! for explaining it betta lol coz i did a bad job obviously

yesh boo …. you being you dont mean anything just bc you dont believe in god!

you're a wonderful person and thats what goes!

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

LMFAO!!! How psycho can the world get? *goes on laughing*

boo:

I want someone whom I can diss no end, and who can diss me back no end… but will love me for who I am at the end of the day, and vice-versa…

You can still have that, even if both people are from the same religion.

boo:

Religion should not be an issue for both parties concerned, be they religious or not…

Why not?

Well…when people get married, they tend to only think about themselves, they forget that in the future, if God wills, they may have children. When two people from a different religion get married, their child is confused. The mother believes in one thing and the father believes in something else. the poor kid is so confused. I guess it's a good thing sometimes, because the kid gets to choose their religion. But that's not entirely true, because if it's in someone's destiny to choose their religion, it will happen no matter what, even if they have religious parents, both of the same religion.

All of it is fate.

In my opinion, religion should be an issue. For people who are not religious, it is not an issue, because they aren't strict in their religion anyway. But for religious people, it is an issue. Because they believe in what they believe in and they can't change their beliefs easily. It's hard for a religious person to be married to someone from another religion because their married life is harder. For instance, let's use me as an example. I love my religion, and that's the religion I would like to teach my kids. Suppose I married an athiest who also loves his religion(athiesm), how the heck would we raise our kids? I would teach them Islam and he would teach them athiesm. The poor kid would be so confused. Well, it's an entirely different story if one parent doesn't mind that their kids are taught a religion different from theirs.

boo:

1. Would you love someone regardless of their religion?

Yes. Boo and Khushi, I love you both regardless of your religion.

boo:

or 2. Would you marry someone that you haven't loved, and in order to make the marriage work (keep the marriage relationship in perspective), go ahead and love them?

Yes and no. Yes, because I can't force myself not to love someone. No, because I can't force myself to love someone. If I love them , then I love them. If I don't, then I don't.

Boo and Khushi, some people, like the both of you(correct me if I am wrong), think love is right only if two people love each other before they are married. why can't love be right if two people love each other after they are married? Is it so wrong to marry someone you don't love? Millions of people have done it, and it's worked out great.

Anyway, religion is an issue to me when it comes to marriage and I think it should be an issue for everyone. And I believe it is an issue for religious people, but not for people who are not religious. Does that answer your question?

[haasini]

i really dont understand y people differentiate each other as hindu muslim instead we must treat others as human being…………………….I BEING AN HINDU RESPECT ISLAM 4M THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART .

it hurts me wn an innocent muslim is blamed to b terrorist……………..or wn they r neglected and i feel the same 4 hindus,as well as christians…n so on

wn i am speaking to my muslim frnd i say YA ALLAH……….similarly wn vd hindu .HEY BHAGWAN …………….its all d same thng…….

wn we youngsters can understand this then y the elders cant

its very shameful……..

[Mukesh]

wn we youngsters can understand this then y the elders cant

My dear its sad when we as the ***youth*** cant accept each other, love each other for who we are, regardless

of religion, race, WATEVA…pisses me off I tell u

as for the elders, hon, its the way in which they have been brought up, an old boring belief of segregration

anywayz, my way of thinking is dat if we **the young ones*** can change the perception of an elder to becoming more

open-minded towards differences, then heck, at least some sanity is restored in society r8…

[Yemenilicious]

Well, Haasini, thanks for the respect = ]. I also think it's messed up how people treat you differently just because they have this view about your religion. And I believe that someone who believes all that smack about ALL Muslims being terrorists, has no common sense whatsoever. wtheck? wake up dangeet.

I don't agree with you when you say “its all the same thing” whats the same thing? of course not. It's different beliefs.

Islam teaches us to respect everyone regardless what their religion and im pretty sure…all the other religions don't teach hatred/prejudiced against Islam and so forth. It's this 'title' the Muslims have brought to themselves due to their stupid thinking and twisted minds. Again I say…never look at the followers..look at the teachings.

Regarding the marriage discussion..the way Islam teaches me, in my opinion is the best. The honour Islam grants the woman. The duties both the man and the woman agree upon…the core of their marriage…which is to please Allah and be shelters for one another.

Then again…we come to marrying someone of a different religion…I agree with what Rani says. Islam allows the man to marry outside his religion, why? Because he is the head of the family…he has control over his kids and his house. But, When a child grows up in between 2 religions, two different ways of life…it is indeed confusing, which is why some kids just decide to become atheist.

Love in particular…is not in one's hands. so if a Muslim falls in love with someone else who's not, its not in their control. That's exactly why we are taught to lower our gaze..so that we won't fall in such traps and experience the pain of loving someone nd either doing the wrong thing or being in total pain due to the fact that we know we can never be with that person…

[Mukesh]

Kavz, u did a great job, I didnt understand a bit of what u said lol

[Mukesh]

dnt say anything Boo, coz its da truth nah…;-)

btw, u dont know how I do WHAT???

[kavita_0026]

haasini:

i really dont understand y people differentiate each other as hindu muslim instead we must treat others as human being…………………….I BEING AN HINDU RESPECT ISLAM 4M THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART .

it hurts me wn an innocent muslim is blamed to b terrorist……………..or wn they r neglected and i feel the same 4 hindus,as well as christians…n so on

wn i am speaking to my muslim frnd i say YA ALLAH……….similarly wn vd hindu .HEY BHAGWAN …………….its all d same thng…….

wn we youngsters can understand this then y the elders cant

its very shameful……..

Oh my goodness Hasini – this is my TOTAL belief!!! We should treat each other as HUMAN beings b.c that is what we all are — And you know like in Hinduism how all of the different Gods are just different FORMS of 1 God –>I believe that all of the different Gods from different religions ( Muslim, Christian , Hindu , etc ) are just different forms of the SAME God. We are all people and humans and no one should NEVER i repeat NEVER criticize someone or stereotype them just because they have a religious label on them because that is just wrong

As for the whole terrorist thing — I have a main strong standing belief —- > In every religion — There are GOOD people and some are BAD people… in any religion you look and see some people are Good some are just bad … if it just so happen that … a main catastrophe was done by so called Muslim people – that does NOT give any other religion the right to feel that they are all GOOD or whatever – b/c that is totally wrong – totally!

And instead of looking at other religions as different and out of mind or out of 'your world' , we should all look unto our friends/ family with different religion and LEARN from them and LEARN the culture and EMBRACE it and tell them about ours and enlighten them so their knowledge can be RICH
we should NEVER fight over religion i think b/c God is GOD

and we..well we're just people just humans

Ali! oooo lol well i m not good at explaining stuff so thanks for helping me out with the point i was making with Booji — hope i managed to explain this religion stuff better i tried lol — really what i was saying — boo — short and frank —- religion or no religion — YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON — and under a religious view — you have a good heart and you are wonderful n thats all that matters! — and under a non-religious view — well u still gotta good heart n is still wonderful hehe

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

…and that's exactly what Islam teaches; peace.

respect and be respected.

[Author]

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