[kavita_0026]

Quote:

You guys are right. I can only do so much for my friends, and I do what I can. If they don't appreciate it, then it's not my fault. I'm sick and tired of blaming myself for everything. I'm sick and tired of it. I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm always saying sorry for things that are out of my control! If the situation is out of your control, the only thing you can do is to say sorry for the situation itself. And in addition to that, give support to the person in the situation. But if its not in your control hun (which im assuming most of your friends' problems are not in your control), you should never blame yourself. You stand there with that friend and you support them, and give them advice, etc etc … why must you blame yourself for making them feel better ?! They should feel blessed to have someone like you!

I'm sick of being ignored. All of my friends have ignored me at one point in time when I opened up to them. If I had something to say, they just brush it off, ignore it, or reply to it hekka weirdly like “oh.” I mean what the heck? You feel sick of being 'ignored' because friendship is a relationship of reciprocity, where there is some mutual thing going on … where both people give and accept. The important thing here is to really be true to yourself and evaluate your prosocial behavior ; doesnt helping out serve some function to you? [in addition to your friends]. Im sure it makes you feel like a good person… you know helping out others. Another important thing – express your feeling! Tell your friends exactly what you feel and explain to them why you feel shuned! Misunderstandings and hiding significant feelings will get you no where.

I know I have flaws, I know I make mistakes, but for how long, how long, will I keep blaming myself? I'm the only one who ever says it's my fault wholeheartedly. I'm the only one ready to apologize. I'm the only one willing to forgive. I'm the only who tries to be a better friend. I'm the only one who cares enough to talk about it. I'm the only one who wants things the way they were before everything got messed up. I'm the only one all alone. Rani, I have to say…. with this desire that you have … it shows how much of a wonderful, dedicated, genuine, true friend you are and willing to be. Your friends ought to be blessed that they have a golden friend like you. You should NOT be so hard on yourself, especially when you know that you are trying your hardest and your best. Dont strike yourself so hard. Give yourself compliments for trying so hard.

What is wrong with me? I sit here blaming myself for everything that goes wrong and everyone else is sitting there agreeing! Why is everythign my fault? How is everything my fault? It can't be! I try and I try and I try, why don't things get better? Because you can't play tug-of-war with one side pulling the rope, I need someone else to pull on the other end to even things out! No matter how “perfect” I get, things won't get better unless the other side shapes up. Exactly! Reciprocity! Rani, you can NOT lift all of the heavy weight of a friendship on your back ALONE. You just CANT. Furthermore – if your friends have problems that are out of your control – you should NEVER blame yourself! What you're doing … is the correct thing to do – I m ean… you're helping them out – giving them psychologial support. But never blame yourself hun… you just can't!

I'm sick and tired of being the punching bag or the secret box or the stress reliever. I'm sick and tired of being the ugly duckling. If your friends run to you, you definiitely are serving them a purpose, wh